Can you hear my voice
When you read these words?
Can you step into my shoes
And follow my journey?
If you could walk a mile in my eyes
Tell me would you like what you see?
Our perceptions shape who we could be
I want every step to count
I take into account
My life is my own
I am blessed to be upon this wretched earth
Often times I say words I don’t mean
I tell myself that I am dumb
That I am incapable of loving
I’m too naive and people walk over me
I know that these thoughts stem
From my subconscious that wishes
For me to hit destroy
To develop mistrust in all my deeds
Why does this happen
Why do I take myself too seriously?
How can it all just stop
I want to be a normal human being too
Often times this voice overpowers
The gentle positivity I have within me
Why can’t I be stronger
I want to be happy
Is it wrong to wonder
What the relief could feel like
Being five feet under
The pressure of the world takes me there
I wonder if I should just make it easier
Often time I am reminded
That we have to struggle to get somewhere
First world problems aplenty
No solution in sight
I’m not made for this plight
It all gets overwhelming
When I feel my heart start beating fast
That little turmoil in my stomach
An unease sets into my soul
My head feels heavy with racing thoughts
Can’t pinpoint what’s wrong
I’ve faced all these demons
Yet I succumb sometimes
I tilt sideways
My perception faces inward
Trying to mend broken fragments
Not often enough to be a diagnosis
I feel trapped
Sometimes I think
This is not the worse
It could be worse
Isn’t it weird that
People coddle, protect and nurture young girls
But as a society we fear and loathe feminity?
that we make our boys rough and hard providing them less love and soft hearts
But as a society we condone accept masculinity and rigidity as powerful?
Sometimes it feels like the world is out to get me
To make me lose my mind
But I have to remember
They can’t defeat me
Actions speak louder than words
If I’m minding my own business mind yours
If I’m trying to figure myself out
Don’t parade yourself in front of me
You’re fake and made me out to be the fool
I’m no longer fooled
I wish there was a filter to extract people like you
But alas I have to deal with your perceived loyalty and genuineness
Let’s be honest here
You don’t give a shit
So please forgive me and let it go
I’ve forgiven you too
I don’t want your baggage on my mind space
I certainly believe you don’t want mine on yours
So let’s move forwards
Ships passing through the night silently
Don’t throw your canons at me
I just sit here peacefully
Change is the process of being born and remade, constantly.
Just like a flower, I transition.
I am a Muslim American
I stand in solidarity with you
The lives that were lost
I’ve prayed for them
I am a human
Admits your tears
I am compassion
Amidst your fears
I am understanding
Amidst your pain
I see you
I hear you
“Many desi Americans and Muslim Americans can be apathetic towards concerns of racism and the white nationalism that is present in our world.
This is wrong. We too have a rich history in fighting to be heard, to be understood, to be embraced as equals. We cannot ignore the fight that our sisters and brothers of black and brown skin endure! We have faced and still face xenophobia and discrimination, we must stand and protect each other! We must realize that the struggles we face are similar, we are similarly oppressed, we similarly grieve our losses.
Charlottesville is a moment for all non-white nationalists to remember. The hatred and violence can occur in anyone’s state, anyone’s university, and in anyone’s life.
I am desi Muslim American. I must also care about what others face in the world. For it’s not just me living in the universe, it’s not just my struggles, it’s not just my community struggles. I am more than myself in choosing to recognize and choosing to voice my thoughts. I contribute. I stand. I hope you do too.