Wrong?

Is it wrong to wonder

What the relief could feel like

Being five feet under

The pressure of the world takes me there

I wonder if I should just make it easier

Often time I am reminded

That we have to struggle to get somewhere

First world problems aplenty

No solution in sight

I’m not made for this plight

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Sometimes

It all gets overwhelming

When I feel my heart start beating fast

That little turmoil in my stomach

An unease sets into my soul

My head feels heavy with racing thoughts

Can’t pinpoint what’s wrong

I’ve faced all these demons

Yet I succumb sometimes

I tilt sideways

My perception faces inward

Trying to mend broken fragments

Not often enough to be a diagnosis

I feel trapped

Sometimes I think

This is not the worse

It could be worse

Weird 

Isn’t it weird that

People coddle, protect and nurture young girls

But as a society we fear and loathe feminity?

that we make our boys rough and hard providing them less love and soft hearts

But as a society we condone accept masculinity and rigidity as powerful?

Sometimes it feels like the world is out to get me 

To make me lose my mind 

But I have to remember 

They can’t defeat me 

Actions speak louder than words 

If I’m minding my own business mind yours

If I’m trying to figure myself out 

Don’t parade yourself in front of me 

You’re fake and made me out to be the fool 

I’m no longer fooled 

I wish there was a filter to extract people like you 

But alas I have to deal with your perceived loyalty and genuineness 

Let’s be honest here 

You don’t give a shit 

So please forgive me and let it go 

I’ve forgiven you too 

I don’t want your baggage on my mind space 

I certainly believe you don’t want mine on yours

So let’s move forwards 

Ships passing through the night silently 

Don’t throw your canons at me 

I just sit here peacefully 

For Charlottesville 

I am a Muslim American 

I stand in solidarity with you 

The lives that were lost  

I’ve prayed for them 

I am a human 

Admits your tears 

I am compassion 

Amidst your fears 

I am understanding 

Amidst your pain 

I see you 

I hear you 

“Many desi Americans and Muslim Americans can be apathetic towards concerns of racism and the white nationalism that is present in our world. 

This is wrong. We too have a rich history in fighting to be heard, to be understood, to be embraced as equals. We cannot ignore the fight that our sisters and brothers of black and brown skin endure! We have faced and still face xenophobia and discrimination, we must stand and protect each other! We must realize that the struggles we face are similar, we are similarly oppressed, we similarly grieve our losses. 

Charlottesville is a moment for all non-white nationalists to remember. The hatred and violence can occur in anyone’s state, anyone’s university, and in anyone’s life. 
I am desi Muslim American. I must also care about what others face in the world. For it’s not just me living in the universe, it’s not just my struggles, it’s not just my community struggles. I am more than myself in choosing to recognize and choosing to voice my thoughts. I contribute. I stand. I hope you do too. 

Who you are 

“What are you looking for?

You have a roof over your head 

Food and water 

People who care for you 

Things to do 

You can go anywhere”

So why do you try to fill 

The empty spaces 

Next to your body 

With someone who doesn’t see you 

Properly? 

Someone who doesn’t value 

The life you’ve got 

Why must you imagine

You are chasing your dreams 

When in reality 

You’re chasing someone 

To make the lonely days easier 

“I’m not saying that’s bad,

But look around you, 

Take In the scenery 

Take in the view.

You are more than enough 

These moments are enough 

Don’t chase an imaginary tail 

Stay comfortable where you are 

I’m not saying you have to be lonely forever 

But I just want you to be 

Grateful for who you are 

In the company of yourself”

Finding 

My heart is yearning 

It’s yearning for new 

Sights, sounds, people and places 

It’s yearning to roam far

Past the sparkling beaches

Past the green forests

Past the mountains 

Past the nights

Past the days

We just want to take our body 

On a ride 

Going places 

We’re finding 

Where we belong 

Just sitting here 

Isn’t helping

The location matters 

The environment is dire

We must forgive and forget 

The potholes and breakdowns 

There’s still time left

Let’s keep climbing out 

Of our beatdown car 

Arm over our forehead 

Head turning 

Looking for the sight 

That keeps our heart beating 

Keeps the pace fast 

Keeps the mind awake 

We’re not there yet