Pakistan

Peaceful nights are 
Awaiting ahead
My momma tells Me 
the whistle man
Is nowhere close by
To take my slumber 
I fall asleep to humid fans
The smell of dust 
And of clothing coming out 
Of suitcases after long days
Not sure when
Wretched heat will take over
I sleep close to a withering body
And a youngster 
Trying to find that thread 
Between reality and peace 
Slowly sinking 
The smell of cooked Bryani 
Hovering over my brown skin 
My belly full
Humid air circulating 
Across the wide bed 
With Limbs splayed 
Here is the hearth 
Where I was born 
Here is the language of 
My ancestors 
Here is the land 
We have drawn blood and arms for
To cleave ourselves from 
The motherland 
To claim a home 
For the downtrodden 
A crescent moon shines in the sky 
The stars hidden still 
By smog and pollution
I know they shine upon 
This green land 
This prideful country 
Still I stay 
In the midst of sleep and wake 
It’s a land far from imagination 
If I just open an old suitcase
I’m once again 
In the place I could’ve been 
Yet I’m farther away now 
Than I’ve ever been 
A blessing 
And a lesson 

Killing Monsters 

You’re a noise in my head

I can’t forget 

I toss and turn 

While I’m supposed to be asleep 

You create the monster 

That doesn’t know anything 

You create a mess

That leaves me depressed

Nothing can tie you down 

And I wish I could 

So I could rip you to pieces 

You’re the noise in my head 

Leaving me depressed 

Causing me to think twice 

You create the monster 

That makes the nightmares 

I wish I could hunt you down 

To see you get killed 

Depression

Heaviness sits deeply in my bones

every movement lethargic and slow

like I’m twice my age

tastes become bland

my appetite flys away

for more than a temporary leave

I stay awake in the dark

tears flowing due to frustration

eyes cracked open

bed sheets rumpled

beyond ruin

limbs splayed

as I try to find comfort

the past that I thought I left behind

Returns with thoughts

that race to the speed of light

a throbbing begins from my temple

And my body aches with tension

can I succumb soon?

just let go into the black night

just sink into rough waters

and let go of the chance of seeing sunlight?

Yet, There are too many reasons to stay

consequential choices

and I must survive another

harrowing hour

Just hoping

that this

Vicious cycle doesn’t begin

again

night after night

Can’t I succumb soon?