I was ashamed

When I let someone respectable

See this negative aspect of me

Craving validation

Rushing to get everything done

Being hasty

I showed the ugly face

Of perfectionism

Of deep insecurity

Of desperation beyond measure

When they scolded


I was in a sea of


I didn’t ever act like that

At home or in front of my parents

My rush made from

The craving of acceptance

And of a recommendation I felt I needed

I cringe as I recall this moment

I cringe as I recall composing myself

Giving myself time to breathe deeply

Relieving the sting of words

And the sting as I realized my actions

Were less than professional

I am better than that

Ugly face

I am better than that

How will I continue to

Improve my wellbeing

To respond

To showcase the best of me?


Press Reset

When things go wrong

When all’s said and done

If it doesn’t work out

How you want

Do I have your permission

To press reset

On my life

Can I finally pursue

What I wanted to do all along

Without you having to tell me no?

Can I be free

To make my own decisions

And figure out

Who I am

Do I have your permission

To seek out

The road less traveled

No matter how much you’re scared

Of me failing

And the struggle i may face

My life is mine to live

My own regrets

Can I have this self-expression?

So can I press reset

When all’s said and done

Before it’s too late

And I force myself

Into a mold

Not of my own making

Crushing me under its weight

Late Night Self-Reflection 

My thoughts are at it again 

Like a broken record 

They remind me of encounters past 

I look at myself in a mirror 

Going through the motions

Of all the encounters 

The mistakes I made 

The regrets I had 

Won’t wash away so easily

They engrave into the back of my brain 

Coming to haunt me like ghosts 

in the dead of the night 

I feel like I have 

Too many sins to wash away 

But they aren’t even evil doings 

It’s just my mind 

Playing tricks on me 

Deceiving me 

Doubting my actions 

The words I spoke 

And the decisions I made 

Why can’t I let it all go? 

Why does my past still continue to consume me 

And confine me?

And why do I even bother

Looking back 

so deeply 

Into that cracked mirror 

And not see the person 

That stares back in the reflection?