I did tasks for you
That weren’t a part of my job description
I washed your dirty dishes
And related your messages
Once I also gave you water like a waiter
Takes orders from his customers
Then I was shocked later to realize
That I had let myself become your servant
Who am I kidding?
There was no emotional manipulation
From you and your charming ways
I did it all with my free will
And that’s how
I created my own insanity
In the midst of your company
I lost my true identity
I conformed to some unnamed ideals
And bowed easily
I can’t cry and scream
Because I still let myself be
All the things I hoped not to be
Why did I lose myself
So easily?
Did I ever know myself at all?
My free will
Tells it’s own story
I’m a people pleaser
Too emotionally attached
Too easily
I thought of everyone as my family
Without considering any boundaries
Despite the fact we were all strangers
I wanted others not by blood around me
So I compromised and let myself have this
community like it was a special commodity
But, I actually thought it was
I had myself had
Because there were problems aplenty
Miscommunication and mistrust
Bandwagons of people who
Left others in the dust
Riding off in the hope of a sunrise
That I’m not too sure will ever come
In the midst of all the dust
I’m left standing wondering
Did I ever know myself at all?
