Heaviness sits deeply in my bones

every movement lethargic and slow

like I’m twice my age

tastes become bland

my appetite flys away

for more than a temporary leave

I stay awake in the dark

tears flowing due to frustration

eyes cracked open

bed sheets rumpled

beyond ruin

limbs splayed

as I try to find comfort

the past that I thought I left behind

Returns with thoughts

that race to the speed of light

a throbbing begins from my temple

And my body aches with tension

can I succumb soon?

just let go into the black night

just sink into rough waters

and let go of the chance of seeing sunlight?

Yet, There are too many reasons to stay

consequential choices

and I must survive another

harrowing hour

Just hoping

that this

Vicious cycle doesn’t begin

again

night after night

Can’t I succumb soon?

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